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skip to content music the unbearable smell of the witch single it is impossible they came for our music the smoking moon writings « older posts combinatrix by toby | published: august 1, 2018 “toby’s brain,” says the scientist, pointing directly at my exposed and delicate brain, “is what is known as a combinatrix.” a hum trembles through the audience. “push in information through any or all of his available input sockets,” [the scientist points to, in turn, my eyes, ear (left ear only), microphone, x-ray absorbor], “and it will all be transformed, via the combinatrix, into… this! ” the scientist whirls on the spot and thrusts her cane towards the shadows. silence. a spotlight switches on. my latest cd is revealed. (also available on tape and cylinder). the audience gasp, weep, cheer, liveblog, dance, fume. posted in ununcombinable | comments closed the serving by toby | published: november 9, 2017 i had made something. it wasn’t quite a cake, nor exactly a biscuit. more like an inversion of a cake. an uncake, perhaps, existing solely between realms. i served it with a void of tea along with a couple of molecules of antisugar arranged in a complex geometric shape that was neither platonic nor solid. i poured the tea into mother’s best cup and put the uncake and the nonsugar in a saucer i fed the cats their food on, and placed by the side of the cup a spoon with a hole in it a magpie once brought me, and once the presentations were complete i carried them into the anechoic chamber and handed the unternoon refreshments to ted. i hoped and prayed and laughed posted in unbaked | comments closed underground and under here by toby | published: october 24, 2017 amemorable news purveyor “the guardian” have published a list of 50 “underground albums” that “you” have “never heard of” link follows a guardian poring over the list for old favourites i note that they have a) included several albums that “i” have heard of, and dismissed as one-dimensional or “phoney” b) failed to include any of the best albums that i have not heard of, which i am unable to list here for the same reason if i had heard of them, i suspect they would be as follows. edgar winifred: the egg is on fire this hard-to-find record by edgar winifred was only released via fax machine, the ink compressed so deeply as to form grooves that could be played on most readily available record players. recorded during one of his fugue states, it contains eight brief songs, each made up of two distinct movements, which the liner notes record as “before” and “after”. winifred could not (or would not) remember what any of it meant, and during at least two interviews utterly refused to claim responsibility for the album at all, although notably both journalists made record of the fact that he “left the room loudly humming his own melodies”. the underwater seal experiment: i was outside, you were hiding this all-girl band formed in the 1920s but didn’t make their first recordings until they found themselves unexpectedly reunited in a nursing home, having lost many of their capabilities. immediately returning to music, they recorded seven albums in as many months before all dropping dead from exhaustion within hours of each other. as each of them had willed the master tapes to another member of the group, they briefly fell into a disputed state, held on a boat that traversed international waters until their surviving ancestors could agree a deal. the subsequent release, which was only available via a costly phone line, was hailed as a masterpiece by all that heard it. hova stanta: no means, no (?) the genderless, ageless stanta compiled this late-period release by splicing together rehearsal tapes from their one-person band. confusingly high on harmonies and polyrhythms, the result was instantly denounced by the catholic church, which led to a brief sales spike that independent record stores struggled to keep up with (only four copies having been made available, each hand-decorated by the artist and their small army of insect pets). allmusic.com refers to the album as “literally inaudible”, but it should be noted that the review was published during the deafness plague of ’08. briiiiiiiiine: briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine brrrriiiiiiiiiiiiine posted in underground | comments closed the transformer by toby | published: september 19, 2016 the stone appeared in the middle of the town and anyone who touched it was transformed or at least improved in some way. ted touched it by mistake and his eyes regrew and a few of his fins receded. a seagull landed on it and became a crow and a crow landed on it and become a raven and a raven landed on it and became a new bird that was exactly the same as a crow and a raven but even bigger again it was huge. a man playing a trumpet leant against it and his trumpet became one of those huge tubas that wrap themselves around you and it wrapped itself around him and wouldn’t let go and also his lungs doubled in size so he he could play all day long he changed his name to simon fourlungs he was a great success. a cat brushed up against it and was unchanged (cats are essentially unimprovable). i danced and tricked my way to the front of the queue and looked up at the stone and then i touched the stone and the stone exploded and everyone was furious with me for the rest of the year. posted in unchangable | comments closed reveals the secret secrets behind his successful successes by ted | published: september 5, 2016 “i got this lucky penny off a lad today in the hotel,” said, rolling the coin between his fingers then up and down his sleeves before it emerged from below the hem of his skirt. he picked it up and made it disappear behind his ear. “a travelling merchant and his son came to me and asked if it was okay to take my soul. when he’d finished syphoning it off his son said: “let me give you a lucky coin. it’s not cursed at all!” and then they went off with a chuckle that sounded a bit like a duetted scream. “here it is,” toby said, revealing what appeared to be a sweet to the crowd, before closing his hand and then opening the other, from which a dove flew out. “i had it in my pocket, all along.” then he withdrew it from his pocket and spun it between his fingers. it looked like the moon. it looked like the sun. it looked like a coin again. “i used it and i won and then i won again. it’ll stay with me forever now. it feels like i can’t lose. “i’m not really superstitious, i just love coins.” he added. “here, let me show you how it works.” and with that he put it in the machine in the corner by the bar. a random assortment of shapes came up, and the coin was gone. posted in unlucked | comments closed the hand by toby | published: august 29, 2016 i showed them my new hand. it was much better than my old hand. this one could count up to six. it could also close itself into a fist both the usual way and the other way, which wasn’t much use i admitted to the crowd. but what use is use when you can do things like that i said. and like this! a woman fainted and so did a man. posted in unflexible | comments closed the market by toby | published: august 25, 2016 there was food everywhere but none of it was as good as mine. i went up to every stall and told them so and showed them my wares, which i held out in front of me on a plate that was also better than theirs. “try it,” i said. “it is the new food.” they reached out with their hands and took a small cube and held it up to the light and examined it carefully for defects and when the defects were not found they popped the cube into their mouths and gave it a trepidatory chew. not one of them survived. posted in unedible | comments closed the coin by toby | published: august 24, 2016 he held his fist before me, tightly clenched. “i have in my hand the coin,” he said. “what kind of coin?” i asked. “ the coin.” “what kind of coin?” i insisted. “i cannot show you the coin.” “you don’t even have a coin, do you?” i accused. “nobody has a coin.”

URL analysis for tobyvok.co.uk

http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/music/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/unstationary/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/underneath/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/unfilled/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/unterview/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/untangled/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/unbirthed/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/unflexible/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/author/toby-2/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/undestroyed/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/ununcombinable/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/unlistenable/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/unseen/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/category/uncloaked/
http://www.tobyvok.co.uk/2017/the-serving/

Whois Information

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Domain name:
tobyvok.co.uk

Data validation:
Nominet was able to match the registrant's name and address against a 3rd party data source on 27-Jun-2017

Registrar:
Fasthosts Internet Ltd [Tag = LIVEDOMAINS]
URL: http://www.fasthosts.co.uk

Relevant dates:
Registered on: 04-Feb-2011
Expiry date: 04-Feb-2019
Last updated: 05-Jan-2018

Registration status:
Registered until expiry date.

Name servers:
ns377.hostgator.com
ns378.hostgator.com

WHOIS lookup made at 17:39:27 23-Nov-2018

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  REFERRER http://www.nominet.org.uk

  REGISTRAR Nominet UK

SERVERS

  SERVER co.uk.whois-servers.net

  ARGS tobyvok.co.uk

  PORT 43

  TYPE domain

DOMAIN

SPONSOR
Fasthosts Internet Ltd [Tag = LIVEDOMAINS]
URL: http://www.fasthosts.co.uk
Relevant dates:

  CREATED 04-Feb-2011

  CHANGED 05-Jan-2018

STATUS
Registered until expiry date.

NSERVER

  NS377.HOSTGATOR.COM 50.87.144.115

  NS378.HOSTGATOR.COM 50.87.145.45

  NAME tobyvok.co.uk

DISCLAIMER
This WHOIS information is provided for free by Nominet UK the central registry
for .uk domain names. This information and the .uk WHOIS are:
Copyright Nominet UK 1996 - 2018.
You may not access the .uk WHOIS or use any data from it except as permitted
by the terms of use available in full at https://www.nominet.uk/whoisterms,
which includes restrictions on: (A) use of the data for advertising, or its
repackaging, recompilation, redistribution or reuse (B) obscuring, removing
or hiding any or all of this notice and (C) exceeding query rate or volume
limits. The data is provided on an 'as-is' basis and may lag behind the
register. Access may be withdrawn or restricted at any time.

  REGISTERED no

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